We've got a lot of messages that if you matter about yourself, if you waste time, effort, resources and concentrate on what makes you happy, then you're selfish. That might drive you nuts but it's always trapped in our minds and rooted in nearly every choice we make — whether we know it or not. How do any of you do if you're tired, drained, operating on empty? We get a dose of caffeine, reach deep and move ahead. See a meltdown, or get ill before we dry out.
Why? For what? Do you ever ask 'Why? 'Why am I doing this? For what benefit is it sad, burned out, drained, tired or sick for me? Was that what anyone else wants? Are there more to the desires than yours? Was this in the benefit of the society? Are you going to waste time searching for responses and solutions? Does it leave you depressed all the stuff in which you're upset so you really don't know when to start improving it because you don't know where to find the motivation you'd like to make the shift?
It can get to the stage that it seems tortuous to slow down the tempo of life, and then we have a little more mind and heart room to experience and see things. I was completely there. I wanted to serve other people, to take care of them, to protect them, to make sure they were all right and it came at such a high price.
I recall talking to an friend, a couple months after we split up and he telling me how badly he wanted me, how rough life was without me. (He left me through text) I found myself considering going back to him even though every fibre in my body, spirit, heart and mind thought it was the worst idea. I don't really know why I had those feelings, but it was something like this, I should make him satisfied because it would be terrible for me not to give him what he wants. I just freaked out. Everything changed in me, and in the strangest way I missed it. I looked like I was being drugged, and spacing out entirely. I sat outside a Drumcondra coffee shop having this talk, then totally zoned out and started seeing elephants coming up the path. It scared the life out of me, I felt I lost my mind.
He was worried because something was clearly wrong with me and he accompanied me along. I stayed only under five minutes drive. I broke into tears as soon as I got through the door and wailed at him not to leave me behind. I worried for him and I loved him so I could not be responsible for him or his joy. That it will all cost me. I guess I even terrified the hell out of him then.
I've just mentioned this to a couple people and I don't know why it's coming up now but I guess it's relevant. I was talking intensely about losing something to keep someone else satisfied and I blew a fuse. It triggered an internal meltdown and, to be frank, I'm happy it did because there might have been a much worse option to accepting.
This occurred about 2009 and it brought me on a new course. This is incorporated into my work with other people and that is one explanation (of several, I have loads of stories) that I feel excited when I learn from people who encounter feelings of selfishness or shame over taking care of themselves.
It really isn't you. It's the impression you've got of who you're meant to be, which is absolute nonsense. You have the privilege and the duty to look after yourself and do what lights you up and makes you content. It fills your life and only as you do that; then then do you the opportunity to provide about others.
Take note, above all, of you. When you want to know more and truly want to concentrate on this, enter me in my 'What You Want is Love' 30-day plan. This plan is a choc-a-bloc filled with realistic resources to show you how to improve your relationship with yourself. This is the one aspect that's going to take you through your life.
Why? For what? Do you ever ask 'Why? 'Why am I doing this? For what benefit is it sad, burned out, drained, tired or sick for me? Was that what anyone else wants? Are there more to the desires than yours? Was this in the benefit of the society? Are you going to waste time searching for responses and solutions? Does it leave you depressed all the stuff in which you're upset so you really don't know when to start improving it because you don't know where to find the motivation you'd like to make the shift?
It can get to the stage that it seems tortuous to slow down the tempo of life, and then we have a little more mind and heart room to experience and see things. I was completely there. I wanted to serve other people, to take care of them, to protect them, to make sure they were all right and it came at such a high price.
I recall talking to an friend, a couple months after we split up and he telling me how badly he wanted me, how rough life was without me. (He left me through text) I found myself considering going back to him even though every fibre in my body, spirit, heart and mind thought it was the worst idea. I don't really know why I had those feelings, but it was something like this, I should make him satisfied because it would be terrible for me not to give him what he wants. I just freaked out. Everything changed in me, and in the strangest way I missed it. I looked like I was being drugged, and spacing out entirely. I sat outside a Drumcondra coffee shop having this talk, then totally zoned out and started seeing elephants coming up the path. It scared the life out of me, I felt I lost my mind.
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He was worried because something was clearly wrong with me and he accompanied me along. I stayed only under five minutes drive. I broke into tears as soon as I got through the door and wailed at him not to leave me behind. I worried for him and I loved him so I could not be responsible for him or his joy. That it will all cost me. I guess I even terrified the hell out of him then.
I've just mentioned this to a couple people and I don't know why it's coming up now but I guess it's relevant. I was talking intensely about losing something to keep someone else satisfied and I blew a fuse. It triggered an internal meltdown and, to be frank, I'm happy it did because there might have been a much worse option to accepting.
This occurred about 2009 and it brought me on a new course. This is incorporated into my work with other people and that is one explanation (of several, I have loads of stories) that I feel excited when I learn from people who encounter feelings of selfishness or shame over taking care of themselves.
It really isn't you. It's the impression you've got of who you're meant to be, which is absolute nonsense. You have the privilege and the duty to look after yourself and do what lights you up and makes you content. It fills your life and only as you do that; then then do you the opportunity to provide about others.
Take note, above all, of you. When you want to know more and truly want to concentrate on this, enter me in my 'What You Want is Love' 30-day plan. This plan is a choc-a-bloc filled with realistic resources to show you how to improve your relationship with yourself. This is the one aspect that's going to take you through your life.
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